O = It’s OK to Walk Away
Reassurance Parents Need
This is the part of ICON that parents often need the most reassurance about. When I say “it is OK to walk away” I can see the relief in their faces. Parents often carry guilt for even wanting a moment of peace. But this step is about safety, not shame.
Taking a Safe Break
When you have tried feeding, changing, cuddling, rocking, and your baby still cries, it is completely safe to put your baby in their cot or Moses basket and step away for a few minutes. Take a few deep breaths, drink a glass of water, or call a friend. If it helps, you can even release tension by shouting into a pillow. The key is making sure your baby is in a safe place while you take a moment to calm yourself.
A Parent’s Story
I remember one mum I supported who was completely exhausted. Her husband was working long shifts, she had no family nearby, and she felt like she was failing because she sometimes wanted to put her baby down and cry herself. When I told her it was OK to step away for a moment, she burst into tears. She said no one had ever told her that before. That simple permission helped her cope.
Walking Away Protects Both of You
Walking away is not neglect. It is an act of care for both you and your baby. It protects your baby from harm and it protects you from reaching a point of frustration where unsafe choices might happen.
This part of ICON is especially important because shaken baby syndrome often happens when frustration boils over. Giving yourself permission to pause can save lives.
Coming Up Tomorrow
Tomorrow I will share the final and most vital part of ICON: never shake a baby.
Baby manuals don’t exist… but this comes close.
Pop your email below and grab my free ebook The New Parent’s Peace of Mind, the midwife-approved guide every new parent wishes they had.
I’d love to hear from you. What’s the one piece of advice you’d pass on to other new parents? Share it in the comments below. Your words could truly help someone else.